Well-ordered chaos is a blog about getting organized as an adult with ADD.
If you have ADHD, you may feel like organization is simply beyond you. If you’re at all like me, you’ve tried and failed dozens of times to get organized, probably starting in the first grade. I lost homework, school textbooks, library books, and permission slips. Then I lost class notes, course registrations, financial aid paperwork, and computer disks. After that it was bills, more library books, keys, wallets, credit cards, cash, the can opener, important papers from work, and my ID.
As for my home (and car, and briefcase, and office when I’ve had one), they were in total chaos. When company came, I had to spend every spare minute for the preceding week cleaning and hiding clutter. My closet doors would barely close because of everything stuffed inside, and I would pray that they’d just wait before bursting open. I discouraged friends from coming by unannounced, and when an urgent matter required someone to drop something off at my home, I was embarrassed to have them see how I lived.
More importantly, the clutter was making my home unhealthy. I have severe allergies and I need to vacuum at least once a week with a HEPA vac, but this was impossible with clutter on every horizontal surface. There were stacks of five-year old magazines, bank statements, and torn books. There were drawers full of half-finished sewing projects and broken knick-knacks. My clothing, clean and dirty, was stored in huge piles on the bedroom floor. In theory there were laundry baskets, but they were long buried, and to unearth them was to risk an asthma attack. Several advanced life-forms were evolving in my fridge, forming civilizations, and planning their own missions into space.
I was able to change all that.
What’s more, I was able to change it without being on medication for ADHD.
Not only was I not on ADD medication, I was doing nothing to manage my ADD symptoms. A lot of my habits actually made my ADD worse. My vegetarian diet was high in carbs and low in protein. I never exercised. I drank several cups of coffee a day, preferably in the form of sugary mocha. I couldn’t get to sleep until three in the morning, and I could barely drag myself out of bed before noon.
And yet, in spite of all of that, I managed to change my habits. I slowly organized my home. By organizing my home, I was able to control my allergies better, which meant I slept better and woke up more readily in the morning. I started to feel like I had some control over my environment. Ultimately, the fact that I overcame my organizing challenges gave me the confidence to change my other habits as well. I drastically changed my diet, adding more protein, more green leafy vegetables, and eliminating sugar and caffeine.
I felt better immediately. For the first time in my life, I was able to wake up in the morning without fighting myself. I was even able to get to sleep at night. I added exercise to my daily habits. My mood and my attention improved. As the days grew shorter, I realized that my attention fluctuated with available sunlight, and I made the decision to try stimulant medications again.
This year I have finally begun to feel like I own my life, that I can set goals, learn to break them down into manageable steps, and finally be the person I always wanted to be. I’ve decided to blog about my continuing journey to an organized life. I’ll talk about where I’ve been, what I’m doing now to cope with my ADD, and where I hope to go in the future. I hope my story can help others with ADHD see themselves as achieving changes they never thought possible.
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