I haven’t been updating either of my blogs much lately. This is partly due to drama in my offline life — like one in ten Americans, I am unemployed and looking for work. I’m spending most of my time these days sending out resumes and coverletters into various black holes, where I never hear of them again.
The other reason I haven’t been around much is that the pollen count where I live is incredibly high. We had a wet winter here in CA. It’s still raining even though it’s late May; usually the rain knocks off in March or April, giving me two precious months of sunlight before the fog rolls in in June. Not so this year. As if the gloom weren’t bad enough for my energy levels, the rain is contributing to record levels of pollen.
I’m one of those people who is allergic to everything. Animals, dust, mold, grass, weeds, and trees of every description. At the moment, the trees that are kicking my ass are the non-fruiting olive trees that the City planted on the sidewalk. For some reason, olive trees tend to trigger asthma and eye-itching symptoms before congestion and runny nose (but don’t worry! I’m still getting that crap from other trees, so I’m not deprived), and there’s nothing more draining than chronic low-grade asthma.
The reason why I’m bitching about this on a blog about ADD and organizing is that it reminds me why I do this in the first place. You see, I used to feel like this all the time. I actually used to feel worse, because in addition to the asthma kicking my ass, I got several inner ear infections a year because of my allergies. I struggled to wake up in the morning and often needed naps in the afternoon. I was tired, dizzy, disoriented, and completely unable to live my life.
Getting organized ultimately changed that. Once I ditched my clutter, I had less stuff around to collect dust. Once I organized what I owned, I could contain put it in containers, and then it was easier to keep clean. Once my space was organized, I could organize my time, and set aside parts of my day to maintain my home. It happened slowly, but soon I began to breathe a little easier. Then I noticed I had more energy. After awhile, I was able to get up without hitting the snooze button several times; and then, I found I could sometimes wake up on my own. As my energy increased, so did my ability to focus. I began to take some control over my moods and my ADHD symptoms, finally getting to the point where I am actually stable. It’s a reality I never could have imagined even three short years ago.
Today is like a visit from my old life. I slept for about ten hours last night and still had to drag myself out of bed this morning. I feel dizzy and spaced out and I can’t catch my breath. I need to summon the energy to vacuum with my trusty HEPA vac, because I know I will feel better once I do, but it’s an immense struggle even to think about it.
It totally sucks. On the other hand, there is a silver lining; as miserable as I feel right now, it’s an affirmation of the immense positive changes I have been able to make. It’s also a reminder of why I keep this blog . If someone like me — someone with attention deficit disorder, depression, asthma, allergies, and chronic ear infections — could overcome these barriers to getting organized and taking control of my life, so can anyone. Start small, have faith in yourself, and big changes will be the result.